When Love Turns into a Cage: Life Coaching through a Silent Struggle

Shalini Session#1-8

Shalini had done everything "right". A well-settled career overseas, a loving live-in partner, and what looked like a promising future. But life, as we all know, doesn’t always unfold according to plan.

When she first contacted me, her voice trembled with exhaustion. Not physical fatigue, but the emotional kind—the kind that slowly chips away at your spirit. She had been in a five-year-long live-in relationship with a man she once deeply loved. But over the past two years, that love had turned into manipulation, abuse, and trauma.

And this is Shalini’s story—a journey from surviving to thriving, from self-sacrifice to self-worth. A journey that took time, patience, and deep emotional rewiring.

The Background: When Care Becomes a One-Way Street

Two years before reaching out to me, Shalini’s boyfriend had fallen severely ill. His condition was unpredictable and chronic, leading to repeated hospitalisations and ultimately the loss of his job. He returned to his hometown to recover, while Shalini continued to hold the fort—emotionally and financially.

She supported him selflessly, dipping into her own savings until there was nothing left. Her love was her anchor, and she believed that once he recovered, things would fall back into place.

And he did recover. He came back. Found a new job. But something fundamental had shifted. He was no longer the man she had once shared dreams with. Instead, he returned colder, angrier—and cruel.

The man who once needed her became the man who began hurting her.

The Downward Spiral: Abuse Behind Closed Doors

What began as minor disagreements soon turned into explosive fights. The mental anguish was relentless—blame games, gaslighting, name-calling. But then it escalated. Physical abuse entered the picture.

Shalini, now financially depleted and emotionally exhausted, felt trapped. She had invested everything—her money, her time, her emotions—into this relationship. To leave felt like failure. To stay felt like death by a thousand cuts.

Eventually, in a moment of clarity and courage, she moved out and began living alone. But even though she had left him physically, the emotional trauma clung to her like a second skin.

Her work was suffering. She was battling insomnia, anxiety, and intrusive thoughts. She blamed herself, questioned her worth, and struggled to imagine a future that felt safe.

It was at this rock-bottom moment that another client of mine met her at a yoga class and recommended Soulpathy. That’s how Shalini and I began our coaching journey.

First Session: Creating a Safe Space

The first thing I offered Shalini was a safe, non-judgemental space to simply be. To cry if she needed to. To rant. To fall apart and know that she wouldn't be blamed or rushed.

In our first session, she barely spoke. Her voice was soft, her posture guarded. It was as though even her body was apologizing for taking up space. So, we started small. I told her, “You don’t have to tell me everything today. But can you tell me how you feel right now?”

She whispered, “Like a ghost of myself.” And from that moment, our real work began—not just of healing, but of resurrecting.

Month 1: Rebuilding the Foundations

Themes: Emotional Safety, Boundaries, and Self-Awareness

The first month focused on emotional stabilisation. Before she could dream of thriving, Shalini needed to feel safe again—in her body, her mind, and her space.

Key Work:

Understanding Abuse Patterns: We spent time unpacking the dynamics of emotional and physical abuse. I explained trauma bonding, the cycle of abuse, and how abusers often isolate their victims by instilling guilt and dependency.

Boundary Setting: This was new for Shalini. She had always been a giver, afraid of being labelled ‘selfish’. Through role-play and guided journaling, we worked on simple but powerful boundary statements—learning to say “no” without guilt.

Emotional Regulation: We introduced grounding exercises like the 5-4-3-2-1 method, breathwork, and journaling prompts that helped her navigate anxiety attacks.

Digital Detox from the Abuser: She blocked his number, emails, and removed shared contacts on social media. This step gave her a crucial breather from the emotional yo-yo.

Month 2: Strengthening the Self

Themes: Self-Esteem, Inner Child Work, and Forgiveness

Now that the fog of survival was beginning to lift, we turned inwards.

Shalini had deeply internalised blame. She felt ashamed for staying so long, guilty for leaving, and angry at herself for “being so blind”.

Key Work:

Inner Child Healing: We explored her earlier life patterns—growing up in a family where conflict was minimised, and peace-keeping was her job. This helped her see that her toleration of abuse was not weakness—it was conditioning.

Self-Esteem Practices: To help rebuild her fractured sense of self, Shalini was provided with a set of customised affirmations tailored specifically to support self-esteem, emotional safety, and inner healing. These affirmations were carefully designed to counter the negative beliefs she had internalised during her abusive relationship. With regular guided repetition—both in front of the mirror and as part of her daily journaling practice—these affirmations became powerful tools in rewiring her thought patterns and strengthening her self-worth from within.

Reframing Forgiveness: Forgiveness wasn't about excusing her ex’s behaviour—it was about freeing herself from carrying his baggage. She learnt to distinguish between holding on and honouring her pain without reliving it.

Month 3: Reclaiming Joy and Identity

Themes: Reconnection, Joyful Living, and Social Support

This month, our sessions became a little lighter. There was more laughter, longer pauses, and a new energy in her eyes. She had started going out again—not to escape her pain, but to reconnect with herself.

Key Work:

Reclaiming Lost Hobbies: She signed up for a painting class, joined a book club, and began travelling solo on weekends. Each activity became a ritual of remembrance—of who she was before the trauma.

Support System: We worked on building a circle of emotionally safe people. Friends who respected her journey, women she met through support groups, even her yoga instructor—these became her new anchors.

Celebrating Small Wins: She treated herself to a new bedspread after a week of good sleep. She bought flowers for herself on Fridays. These little rituals made her feel loved again—this time, by herself.

Month 4: Creating a Vision for the Future

Themes: Growth, Purpose, and Forward Momentum

By the fourth month, Shalini had not just healed—she had transformed.

She began exploring new career opportunities that felt more aligned with her passion for mental health advocacy. She also expressed interest in becoming a trauma-informed peer support volunteer.

Key Work:

Vision Mapping: We created a vision board together during one session—filled with words like “Freedom”, “Power”, “Grace”, and “Belonging”. Her eyes sparkled as she placed each image with intention.

Forgiveness Letters: As part of her emotional release work, Shalini was guided through a process of writing personalised forgiveness letters—not to send, but to express and release the unspoken. This gentle exercise helped her acknowledge her pain, give voice to her suppressed emotions, and begin letting go of the emotional weight she had been carrying. It offered her a sense of closure, not by justifying what had happened, but by reclaiming her own peace and power.

Conscious Closure: Shalini no longer wanted revenge or apologies. She wanted peace. And when peace became her compass, everything else fell into place.

Where She Is Now: The Phoenix Rises

Today, Shalini still lives alone—but this time, it’s not a lonely flat; it’s a sacred space she has created with love. Her house is filled with plants, artwork, candles, and reminders of how far she’s come.

Her career is back on track. She’s financially independent again. But more importantly—she’s emotionally sovereign. She doesn’t just survive her past—she honours it, for showing her just how resilient she truly is.

She’s begun dating again, cautiously but confidently. Not to fill a void, but to share a cup that now overflows.

Final Thoughts: Healing Isn’t Linear—But It’s Always Possible

Shalini’s story is not unique—but her courage is extraordinary. There are countless women like her who suffer silently, torn between love and pain, duty and dignity.

Life coaching isn’t about advice-giving or fixing people. It’s about guiding them back to their own inner wisdom. Helping them find their way through the fog. Reminding them that their story doesn’t end with trauma—it begins with choice.

If you, or someone you know, is trapped in an emotionally or physically abusive relationship—know that help is available. You are not alone. You are not to blame. And you are not broken.

Soulpathy holds space for stories like Shalini’s every day—with empathy, confidentiality, and care.

Because healing doesn’t happen overnight. But it does happen.

If Shalini’s story resonates with you, or you’d like to explore life coaching to heal your own emotional wounds, feel free to reach out. Your first step toward freedom begins with one brave ‘hello’.

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